What I’ve Learned About Fear
Because how are you really going to know, and how much time are you going to waste, before you just effing DO it?
Today I met with one of my blogging idols — the lovely Therese Schwenkler of The Unlost. As I walked up to the coffee shop to meet her, instead of plotting out all the directions I wanted our conversation to go (something the more anxious Kristen would have done a year ago), I decided to just see how the conversation flowed. Which worked out because we had some funny distractions during our two hour chat that really would have taken away from any agenda I may have tried to follow.
For instance, we ended up saving a lost puppy from potentially getting run over by coaxing him onto a makeshift leash Therese created from her suitcase strap. We took care of this little guy for an hour while we waited on the SPCA to pick him up. Our act of doggy kindness inspired the barrista at Mojo so much that he gave us a free latte (and his number, zing).
While we babysat our new friend “Bubba” (pictured above), our conversation jumped around from our experiences at The Bold Academy, to the emotional development of infants, to our mutual pursuit to find a place that grounds us.
The questions I shared with Therese around my blog — should I do more with video? Maybe add audio posts? — and my life — where should I move? How long should I live there? — were met with the very straightforward response:
Stop thinking about it and just do it. See what happens.
To which my response was, “yeah, you’re totally right.” Because how are you really going to know, and how much time are you going to waste, before you just effing DO something?
Recently, I bought my roundtrip tickets to Thailand, so that’s definitely a start. But right now, I’m telling you what I’m going to do, and I’m counting on you guys to hold me accountable. Okay?! So here it goes. Before April 30th, I will:
- Write a blog post about sex — I can’t think of something I’m more scared to write about.
- Guest post for other blogs — Meeting Amber Rae and my fellow Bolders has pushed me to really give this blog all I’ve got. Guest posting with big websites is a step in that direction, so I’ve set a deadline of next week to send my writing to a blog with a readership of 10s of 1000s of people. Which really scares me!! Probably a good sign to do it.
- Redesign my blog to include video and audio elements — While at the Bold Academy, I was given some stellar advice from Bold Academy mentor Terri Simon on my presentation skills: 1) I need to project! My voice is almost as loud as Tinker Bell’s. 2) I need to develop a cadence. My voice can be pretty sing-songy and all over the place, which makes it hard for people to realize how ridiculously funny I am, since the punch line often gets lost in the peaks and valleys. 🙂
I feel strongly that one of my purposes in life is to inspire others. I’ve been extremely fearful of public speaking and being on video for most of my life. But lately, I’ve felt a calling to show others who are afraid of the spotlight that it actually isn’t so scary and that it can become fun over time … with some practice. And that you have something amazing inside you, an amazing insight and VOICE that needs to be heard. I guess I’m just saying that we all have a story to tell that would inspire and motivate others. We are all afraid, and that is okay. As my wise fellow Bolder Molly quoted earlier today:
“My whole life I’ve been telling myself, ‘don’t be afraid’. And it is only now that I’m realizing how stupid that is. Don’t be afraid. Like saying, ‘don’t move out of the way when someone tries to punch you’ or ‘don’t flinch at the heat of fire’ or ‘don’t blink’. Don’t be human. I’m afraid and you’re afraid and we’re all always going to be afraid, because that’s the point. What I should be telling myself is ‘be afraid, but do it anyway’. Live anyway.” – unknown
With courage, love, and intensity,